


we know full well there's just time

by crashandburn



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Angels & Demons, Basically Jedi camp but angels, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Ben and Rey are edgy angels, Ben's back story, Dark side is the demons, Emotional Rollercoaster, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Light side is the angels, No underage, Nothing happens until Rey is 18 or 19, Rey is a badass, Slow Build, Star Wars but angels, The before, There is angst but it will be good don't worry, fallen angel AU, kind of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:00:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24396925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crashandburn/pseuds/crashandburn
Summary: “That’s not the reason- I can’t- you don’t…” Ben sighs in frustration. “The minute I saw you I knew.”“You knew what?”“That you would mean everything to me.”Rey sucks in a breath. “Ben, you should be careful-”“And I told myself, this is not what angels are meant to feel.”“We’re not supposed to have… attachments like that, Ben. You know that we can’t, even if we wanted to.”He looks at her, wistful eyes. “And you know that it is a little late for that.”....Or the one that is a growing up together angel AU
Relationships: Finn & Rey (Star Wars), Kylo Ren/Rey, Poe Dameron & Rey, Rey & Rose Tico, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 4
Kudos: 8





	we know full well there's just time

**Author's Note:**

> title stolen from Not About Angels by Birdy  
> Beta'd by the lovely zoegrover! Please go check out some of her works, she's the best. Couldn't do this without her help :)

When the boy saw her, streaming light from her pores, he knew. He knew his life would never be the same. 

The tall boy grimaced at the thought of him, a skinny lanky thing, watching after such a precious gift from the Maker himself. 

She opened her beautiful hazel eyes and beamed up at him, and he knew he was screwed.

Ben was nine-years-old when he met her, and he knew he’d do anything for this little baby. Him, this boy of darkness, was supposed to watch after this little sunshine, whose face lit up the second she saw him. 

He didn’t think he’d last a day. 

***

_5 years before It happens_

Rey huffs. Her lungs feel like they are about to collapse, and her wings flutter behind her, doing anything they could to give her an advantage. Her legs feel like gelatin, wobbling, and threatening to give out. She has to keep pushing because the nexu is four or five steps behind her at _least_. Staff in hand, she hopes her only weapon can be used to save her. 

Its teeth are as long as her body, ready to snatch her up and take her away to the dark side. The nexu doesn’t come from the light, it thrives off the dark. How it ended up here, on this side, only Maker knows. The only thing Rey is sure of is how she cannot end up in that place under any circumstances. If she is caught, it will drag her straight there. 

The dark side was no place for angels.

She hears the nexu’s jaws snap, closing in on her. One of his front razor sharp teeth scrapes the back of her calf. She hisses as a searing pain fills her body, but it only encourages her to run faster. 

She needs to focus. She’ll never survive if she doesn’t.

 _Breathe…_ She inhales through her nose, honing in on her surroundings. She listens as the cat-like, reptilian creature behind her runs, paws thudding, claws dragging along the ground. The sound of its footsteps gaining ground and moving faster behind her gives her chills. 

Almost in slow motion, Rey launches herself high in the air, above the monster’s head. Her wings stick straight out to help her keep balance as she lands directly on the back of it. Its four eyes try to look back at her, body spinning in confusion. Its tail starts whipping back and forth, struggling to get her off its body. The creature struggles to throw her off its back. 

She remains steadfast, holding on to its striped fur, refusing to let go. If she lets go, she’s done for. 

Maneuvering her staff, she manages to keep one hand in the animal’s fur and clutches desperately. Her hand holding the staff wraps around the creature’s neck. She uses her other hand to grab the other side of the staff, hoping to suffocate it. Summoning her inner strength, she pulls. Hard. 

Bones crush underneath her staff and the monster lets out a choked cry. She lets one out herself as she struggles with keeping it in a headlock. Once she feels life begin to leave the giant creature’s body, she lets out a sigh of relief. 

“Rey, what’s going on?”

The words echo out around her, turning her attention from the beast, and her grip loosens in the slightest. 

Before Rey knows it, her body is flying through the air, landing a couple feet away from the monster. Out of the corner of her eye, she can see the distraction. Finn, her best friend in the world, and the last person she wants to see right now.

The nexu’s razor sharp tail whips back and forth behind it, striking her across the cheek. Liquid gold drips down her face, barely missing her eye. 

“Oh my- Rey! Oh Force, Rey! You need to get away from that thing!” Finn calls out. He waves his hands in front of him, trying to get her attention. 

Rey doesn’t have time to respond because the monster starts charging at her. Typical. Scooting back, she sees her life flash before her eyes. She has fallen on her back, and there is no way she is going to survive. Its mouth hovers over her face, jaw open wide, ready to consume her. As she succumbs to the darkness, she hears the nexu squeal in sudden pain. A weight collapses on top of her, almost crushing her. Then, there is silence met with footsteps approaching her, hard and fast. 

She heaves in breath after breath, confused as to how she is still alive. The voice meets her ears before she can comprehend what it is, or who it is. A shadow casts over her face and blocks the sun out of her eyes. She raises a hand to get a better look at the figure, when her eyes focus in on the one and only Ben. She closes her eyes and rubs them with her fists. Black turns into bursts of colors that paint her irises. She dares to peak open one eye, peering at the dead monster in front of her. Its ribs are crushed. Ben is standing over it, its heart in his hand. 

“What did you think you were doing?”

Heartbeat pounding in her ears, she ignores the question. She scurries to her feet, escaping the hold of the dead beast. And oh, she does _not_ want to talk to him. The last person _in the kingdom_ that she wanted to talk to. 

“You didn’t have to rip its heart out.” She blinked. “And you used the Force to do it. You know the consequences of that.”

Anger flashes in his eyes. Her hands tremor and she curls in on herself. 

“Then you shouldn’t go directly against my orders.” 

“It could’ve been useful. We could’ve used it to find out more about the dark side and their plans-”

Flames practically danced in Ben’s eyes. “What do you not understand? There is _no us_ when it comes to the dark side!”

Finn jumps in, “Look, Ben, she was just trying to help.”

Ben spins on him, his words harsh. “Finn, leave us.” 

Finn looks over at Rey, hesitant to exit. Ben’s words are clipped. “Now.” 

Finn grudgingly walks away, shooting Rey a shrug. His eyes hold an apology. 

Rey looks back to Ben and can’t quite reach his eyes. “I had it under control, you didn’t have to be here.”

“Under control?” He laughs. It’s not humorous. “Didn’t look like it.”

“Until Finn came and then I-”

“Did you not realize the amount of danger you were in?”

“But-”

“No!” Ben snaps. He is furious, blazing with anger. His wings are shaking viciously. Rey has never seen him like this before. “You deliberately went behind my back, _alone,_ after I told you-”

“I wanted to help. Is that so bad? We both know that tensions are high between us and the dark side right now,” Rey replies, crossing her arms over her arms in defense.

Ben’s eyes flash and Rey knows she struck a nerve. “Do _not_ talk about the dark side. You shouldn’t speak about things you know nothing about.”

Rey scoffs, “Who died and made you Archangel?” Ben stops. Rey immediately regrets saying it. He crosses his arms over his chest, shoulders tight. She tries to catch his eye, but he refuses to look at her. His eyes look out to the distance, searching for something that isn’t there. 

He works his jaw, grinding his teeth together, body tense. “Listen, Maz left me in charge of you, like it or not.” 

At the mention of Maz, Rey’s face falls. Maz’s death was still fresh in her mind, the wound cutting deep at her soul. Maz raised her like her own daughter, but it was her time to be with God. Her time as an angel was done.

It stings, Ben bringing Maz up. It is just another reminder. She is reminded of how Ben doesn’t actually care about her. He is forced to care about her because of some dying wish of her guardian angel. 

Ben’s body slumps, all the anger leaving his body. He knows he hit a soft spot, too, with Rey. He steps closer to her, closing the distance between them. The cut on her cheekbone throbs, gold still seeping out. Her face shimmers with gold. Angels don’t bleed because they are too pretty to. They can’t bleed blood in God’s kingdom. 

He sighs and slowly reaches his hand out, cupping her cheek. His thumb swipes some of it away, ever so tenderly, before he lets his hand drop to his side. His words come out whispered, like a confession. “I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

Rey smiles up at him. He hesitantly smiles back at her. “Don’t worry about me.” 

“Well, that’s easier said than done.” His smile falters. He rips his eyes away from hers, moving behind her. “Looks like there’s some people who want to see you.”

She turns around and sees two figures on the horizon. The unending field of green makes the two figures stand out against the bright blue sky. Running, Rose envelops her into a tight hug. Rey lets out an “oof” and hugs her back. Her body rocks back and forth with the shorter girl, swaying. 

She hears steps retreating, most likely Ben, as Poe pulls her into another hug. Ben was never one for small talk with her friends.

Their reunion is cut short when he squeezes her a little too hard and she yelps. “Sorry, sorry, I just came from a brutal beating. Fragile, handle with care, and all that.”

Poe places a kiss on her temple and lets her go. “You are _so_ stupid sometimes, Rey, I swear to the Maker.”

“What do you mean? I was just following the Maker’s will, working for the greater good, yada yada,” Rey babbles, obviously still shaken up over the whole incident. She feels relief, but it is overshadowed by her fear that next time she might not be so lucky. 

“Self-sacrificial bullshit is what it sounds like to me,” He mutters under his breath. 

“Hey, she’s doing her best. I don’t see you taking down a nexu anytime soon,” Rose protests, making Rey feel a little bit better about herself. Not a lot, but a little bit. Anything helps.

“Can we just go back to the palace?” Rey sighs. “I’m just really tired and want to recover from whatever that was.” She gestures widely with her hands towards the dead monster in the field. 

The journey back to the palace is uneventful. Rey can see that they’re getting close, the sun setting casting orange tones over the building. The glass reflection is beautiful, and it reminds Rey why sunset is her favorite time of day. 

In the front yard, Rey can see the children playing with lions and lambs, all together. Something only the light side could allow. The verse automatically comes to Rey’s mind, Isaiah 11:6 “ _And the wolf will dwell with the lamb, and the leopard will die with the kid, and the calf and the young lion and the fatling together; and a little boy will lead them_.” 

Sometimes Rey wonders if the little boy leading the animals is Ben. She wonders if his legacy is the one where he brings balance to the light and the dark. Or maybe he is the lamb being led to the slaughter of the lion. 

Finn rushes out to meet them, sweat glistening off his forehead. “Guys, guys...”

Rey looks over his shoulder, looking for the familiar face of Ben. She thought she would apologize, maybe, and they could recite their verses together before bed. Speaking her mind, she asks, “Where’s Ben?”

He grimaces, like he was expecting her to ask that. “Yeah, about that…”

Rey gives him a hard look. Finn flinches. She raises her eyebrows expectantly.

“He’s kind of in trouble.” 

She stares at him. He gulps.

“Well, you know, he used the Force. You know only the Archangels can do that.” Finn admits, rubbing the back of his neck nervously, like he’s scared Rey was going to kill the messenger for the bad news.

Rey does know that only Archangels can use the Force, a rule made by the Maker Himself. It’s been repeated over and over in their lessons as younglings. The older angels always made it a point that when they received their wings and felt the awakening of the Force to never use it. They recited some verses as evidence as to why this will lead to the end times. And the way they described the end times, Rey wanted to make sure that it never came to that in their realm. This was agreed upon by everyone else who was taught the same thing, the fear in everyone’s heart of what could be. 

All the angels could use the Force, but it was forbidden, because they were untrained. The angels were supposed to recite their verses and train their wings and carry out the tasks of the Maker, in hope that one day they would be worthy enough to hold the title of Archangel. 

Of Rey’s fourteen years as an angel, she sees this is what Ben struggles with the most. He refuses to accept that both his mother Leia and her twin brother Luke are Archangels, but not him. Not yet. They always repeat to him that he is ill-prepared and that the timing isn’t quite right yet. That maybe one day, he will be ready, but it is incredibly dangerous right now because of his legacy. There is a lot of pressure on his shoulders to follow in their footsteps, but he is behind. His mother and uncle were Archangels at the age of nineteen. This fact plagues him, because Ben is twenty-three now. He feels like he has already failed because of this. 

Everyone watched him like a ticking time bomb, ready to explode at any moment. There were rumors of him going to the dark side, but Rey would never allow that. 

“Ah,” Is all Rey says. There’s too much racing through her head to vocalize. 

“I’m sure Leia is livid,” Poe comments.

Finn laughs. “Livid is one way to explain it.” 

“What’s his punishment?” Rose asks. 

“It isn’t decided yet, he must go in front of the Counsel,” Finn responds, looking over at Rey nervously. She thinks she might pass out at any minute.

Rey _definitely_ wasn’t going to pass out. Her lungs might have been ready to collapse, but she wasn’t going to pass out. She didn’t want to think about the possibilities of him being excommunicated, or banished, or sent to Purgatory, or even worse… Earth. She didn’t want to think about what would happen if he left and she was left here to pick up all the pieces. By herself. Abandoned, yet again. 

She definitely didn’t think about any of those things. 

All throughout her short life, Ben has been a constant. Always watching out for her and checking over her shoulder, never letting anything sneak up on her. She didn’t know what she’d do if she lost that. 

Suddenly, she feels an arm around her shoulder. Rose’s voice is soft and comforting, “Hey, don’t worry about it. I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

Rey nods in response. She doesn’t want to think about it too much. Losing Maz and then losing Ben? Especially when it’s her fault he was even using the Force? There’s no way she can handle that. 

She doesn’t want to think about it.

“I’m going to go back to my chambers,” Rey mutters. There’s no need to explain herself.

She needs to blow off steam. If she doesn’t, she’ll explode and they’ll have more problems than just Ben facing the Counsel for using the Force. 

When she opens the door, she’s met with the mess she left her room that morning. The sheets are rumpled and covers thrown onto the floor. Her desk is littered with her Scripture and writings. In the corner is the note that Maz left her. The scrawling that was distinguishably Maz’s makes Rey shove her entire weight into the desk. The crash of all the items onto the floor is enough to echo across the room. Looking down, she spots her Scripture, taunting her. She picks it up and holds it in her hands. Tears creep into the corners of her eyes. 

“You are going to take everything away from me.”

Sweat drips off Rey’s brow and she is trying to catch her breath when she hears a knock on the door. When she opens it, she sees Ben, eyes averted to the ground. 

She basically jumps him, putting her arms around his neck and squeezing. It’s difficult, especially because he has grown significantly in the past few years. A gentle giant.

When she pulls back, he gives her an odd look. He nods over her shoulder. “What happened there?”

The last person she wants to talk about is herself. She shrugs, “Some stuff fell,” She looks into his eyes. “What happened?”

He narrows his eyes at her, but answers her anyway. “I’m in a little bit of trouble.”

She wrings her hands together, nerves tugging at her. “How much?”

“I have to practice my verses three times a day for the next two weeks.”

Rey furrows her eyebrows together, trying to meet his eyes. He refuses to look at her. She’s so confused. She thought the Counsel would give him a much harsher punishment. “That’s it?”

“It’s annoying, Rey,” He huffs, sounding like a spoiled brat. The harshness from their argument earlier is gone. 

She blanches. “Annoying? I thought you were going to be sent to Earth or banished or something.”

That gets his attention, like he doesn’t know why she would be so worried. He looks at her, honey brown eyes sparkling. He ponders it for a second, before simply saying, “You can’t get rid of me that easily.”

“Why didn’t they send you away? If it was anyone else, their wings would be cut off completely,” She says. Her bottom lip sticks out a little bit, a pout beginning to form, out of her control. She’s been an emotional wreck all day. “Is it because of Luke and Leia?”

“No. If anything, Luke would love to see me leave. It’s his dying wish.”

Rey rolls her eyes. “You know that’s not true. If anything, you’re his favorite.”

There’s a pause, like he’s evaluating her. “You’re too young to understand.”

“Stop saying that. I’m going to be fifteen soon.”. 

“Too soon.” When she looks at Ben, he looks far away. In a whole other galaxy, maybe. “I remember when you were a little girl that would just play in the garden. A little monster.”

“And I remember when your voice would crack every five seconds,” Ben blushes. She chuckles. “Don’t start this game with me, I’ll win.” 

“Still a monster then,” Ben says. There’s a sparkle in his eye. 

She’s a little put out about the fact that Ben won’t stop seeing her as the snotty little girl in the garden with pigtails. A little cherub whose wings hadn’t even grown in yet. 

“Tell me more about what they said,” She whispers, “I want to know what happened.”

He gives her one of those looks again. The one where she can’t quite distinguish what he’s thinking. 

He chucks her under the chin. “Chin up, brat.”

She gives in, laughs a little. She knows he’s not going to spill any more information, he’s turned into a brick wall. Something he does when she pushes him too hard. 

He smiles down at her, but it’s forced. 

That’s been happening a lot lately. Ben’s smiles don’t quite reach his eyes anymore. He wallows and he disappears for hours at a time. And whenever he returns, he’s tired, like he lost a little bit of himself wherever he went. She knows he’s struggling with something, whether it’s on the outside, or inside himself. 

She smiles back at him, though, genuine. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed the start to this work. I'm really excited about where this story is going to go and I hope you guys are excited too. Please leave a comment/kudos if you liked what you saw here :)


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